{"id":1243,"date":"2019-08-15T09:58:15","date_gmt":"2019-08-15T13:58:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/tamikanewhouse.com\/?p=1243"},"modified":"2019-09-23T16:56:58","modified_gmt":"2019-09-23T20:56:58","slug":"traces-of-mika-episode-03-my-love-language","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/tamikanewhouse.com\/traces-of-mika-episode-03-my-love-language\/","title":{"rendered":"Traces of Mika Episode 03: My Love Language"},"content":{"rendered":"
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So, let\u2019s not get it twisted. I cuss a whole lot now, I don\u2019t even go to church<\/g> these days, but I grew up in the church. Heavily in the church as a<\/g> matter of act. My God Father was the pastor, my God Mother was the Youth Pastor, Pastor\u2019s secretary, leader of the women\u2019s ministry, in the choir<\/g>, and was over the outreach ministry. Mannnn when I tell you that I was in church every dang day, I was in church every dang day! On Sundays, because we stayed on the white side of the town of Fort Worth, we had to drive nearly 40 minutes to church. Now my church was in the hood<\/g> and this was actually the only time when I was around other black kids<\/g> (I went to school with predominately white kids until high school). <\/p>\n\n\n\n

But\n on Sunday\u2019s we had to get up at 7 in the morning just to get to church \nbefore everyone else, open up with praise and worship, and then we would\n sit in a service that wouldn\u2019t end until two pm. Then to top that off, \nwe had to be back at church for youth service at 5 P.M. and then stay \nfor evening service which was at 7 P.M. Bruhhhh I used to think that \nthis much church wasn\u2019t necessary. But I could never say that as a \nchild. Everyone who was my overseer was a minister of some sort and I \nwas the baby in the church and in my family, so imagine my biblical \ninfluencers. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Throughout Traces of Mika in the flashback scenes from 1997, you hear me preaching and<\/g> praying. I loved everything about praying and talking to God. I made original gospel songs and I witnessed to people everywhere. I was so<\/g> good at this that my Pastor allowed me to actually preach Sunday night<\/g> service a few times and this was in front of nearly 300 people. I was a Pastor in the making! And I LOVED being up there teaching. Because I had everyone\u2019s attention something that I never got at home or school<\/g>. I actually write about this in my book Cookie a Fort Worth Story, which is loosely based on my life. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

So track<\/g> 3 opens up with me praying\u2026..take it in for a bit lol. You may laugh<\/g> at me a little bit too, but I was dead<\/g> serious at the about tha prayer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now on to the conversation<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

As\n much as I write about love, feelings make me cringe lol. But let\u2019s \ncontinue to break down this episode of Traces of Mika. I sat down with \nVince of the While Black Podcast to talk about love, dating and trying \nto find Mr. Right Now, for me. Notice I didn\u2019t say Mr. Right lol. Now \nhear me out because I am not all that hardcore like people may think I \nam. But love does make me feel vulnerable and I hate vulnerability and I\n have purposefully stayed out of that emotion for a few years now. I \nhave a few reasons as to why and the main one is, I just did not want to\n do it. I did not want to care about someone else and be obligated to \nsomeone else. I operate better alone and on my own terms and for the \npast few years I have been building up Mika. Getting me back to happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\n honestly am this way with everyone however and not just the people that\n I choose to date. I am leery of new friends too because when I love you\n when I care, I do not know how to half-ass that. I feel extremely hard \nand I love extremely hard and that time of passion and care shouldn\u2019t \njust be given to anyone. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

So,\n do I avoid love, sure? Do I want love, HELLLLLL yes!! I actually can \nnot wait to be with someone in a serious way. I am ready to allow myself\n to connect on a deeper level because I am just ready to. There is no \nhidden clue or some big moment that has changed my mind. It\u2019s just that \nsimple. I didn\u2019t want to then and now I want to. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

But\n even with that being said, there\u2019s a process of getting to know people \nand building a connection. So, I still don\u2019t believe or need a title. I \njust need them. I just need their energy. I just need their time. For \nme, this is simple to understand; but for many it is complicated. I \nthink for them it comes off like I have one foot in and one foot out, \nbut that\u2019s actually not true at all. I am a realist. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

When\n meeting someone new, I do not know them. And knowing someone isn\u2019t \nabout a timestamp or a mile mark; it\u2019s about time being spent and \nenergies being exchanged. You learn the core of someone by just getting \nto know them and allowing that time to naturally flow. It\u2019s sort of like\n being intentional with your time and with your communication. Making \nthose intentions pure and honest will lead to you growing with someone. \nAnd then that someone becomes that one. You just choose to take it day \nby day in my book. So, I don\u2019t need to be called your girlfriend and I \ndon\u2019t need any promises said to me. I just need your time and we\u2019ll take\n it from there. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

But\n in this conversation, I talk about sex, dating, monogamy, and how I \nprocess these things. Vince in this interview, I believe, asked all the \ngood questions and I reveal some intimate desires of my own. And \nalthough I know my approach to dating may not be as common because I \ndon\u2019t think like the majority; hear me out. Listen to my point of view \nand let\u2019s talk about it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Email me at iamtnewhouse@gmail.com<\/a> your feedback or your questions. As I said, I am a self-proclaimed relationship expert lol. But for the most part, I don\u2019t know how to love either. I am learning just like most of us. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now, this episode ends with me taking you all back into the \u201cDating These Ni**as\u201d skit (handbook is coming soon by the way). We continue to name off<\/g> the types of dudes there are. Now we may offend some people on this<\/g> one but in my defense, we were celebrating 420.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s dig into episode 3\u2026..<\/p>\n\n\n\n